I have been working on producing volumes of inspiration from clippings, tear-outs, poems, essays, paintings, photos and many other things. As per Ira Glass (thanks Daphne for sharing the link), this is the only way that we can fill in the gap in the creative process. 

What redeems me in the writing process is that certain topics choose me instead of me doing the choosing. For the past four, close to five years now, I have been stuck on my Padre Blanco project. He, a mixed blood friar in the tropics who was gifted as an illustrator, hence his hundreds of drawings of the archipelago’s medicinal plants, trees, fruits and flowers—- but also cursed with the responsibility and weight that came with his introduction of these natural resources to the emerging market/economy. A collision of preservation and greedy profiteering, of art, creation and destruction, of self-promotion and self-hate. 

Then in my legal practice, I encountered the story of a Sioux man who served in the U.S. Air Force, had 2 “legitimate” 1/4 native children in the U.S. and one while stationed in the Philippines. Twice married. Both ended in divorce. He did not have custody of his two American ones and he was too far from the illegitimate one. In his death certificate, his last occupation was “photographer”. As to cause of death, the write up mentions malnutrition. He died hungry, hungry for food, that soul. He was brought to a veteran’s hospital then to a nursing home for his finalt care. Less than 10 days after the transfer, he died, the death certificate says “expired”, perishable goods.

What ever happened to his photographs (if he ever printed them) or rolls of film? What happens to the things and memories of Native men in the Midwest when they die without family present or around them.

His Sioux sister, where was she? His ex-wifes? The mother of his Filipino son?

The U.S. Department of the Interior sends out a Hearing Notice to anyone having an interest in his estate. Failure to appear (failure to care while he was alive) result in the loss of rights to what he left behind. Was there any and to whom did he intend to leave them to? The Bureau posted these hearing notices at a community center at Pine Ridge. Pine Ridge is an Indian reservation, of the fierce Oglala Sioux, in South Dakota. (Federal studies have consistently shown that Pine Ridge is the poorest community in all of the U.S.

That’s Homeland Security for you.

He was buried at the Black Hills National Cemetery. Not sure if that means much to an Indian who served his “country” and prepped it for war for 11 years and two months, only to be abandoned, as all veterans are, when they go on with their lives in their county. Was the U.S. ever his country? Many servicemen who fought wars always say: “There is nothing worse than surviving war than life going on!”

This speaks to me because I am engaged in my own war within, of life continuing on.

-Ian Hinonangan (Aug. 12. 2011)